I was picking up some furniture in my station wagon, and the sales guy stood by holding a big flat pack box while I rearranged a few things and put down the back seats to make room. He was good looking and in his early twenties, and couldn’t hide his horror when I took out the kids’ car seats to reveal a dirty, tacky, mouldy mixture of crumbs, dirt, sticks, and something I think was a pear. There was a lego man half submerged in the gunk, a smiley head with a hard hat sticking out with one outstretched arm like he was signalling for a lifeguard to come and rescue him from the sludge.

When I got home I cleaned it up, as I have done many times before, getting in there down the back of the seat, scrubbing away, vaguely having a go with a series of different methods and techniques, none of which really worked, but somehow together made the back seat look approximately clean and hygienic.

There’s not a lot of romance in this.

You can say no to a life of unpaid drudgery by just saying no to housework. Don’t do it – or do the bare minimum you need to get by. Unfortunately, as we’ve ascertained, this means you miss out on the (substantial) benefits and pleasures of having a pleasant home that nurtures and supports you.

You can also say no to a life on unpaid drudgery by changing your mind about the drudgery part. There are as many ways to take care of your home as there are ways to live. When I imagine myself doing the housework I can see myself sighing – getting it over with as quickly as I can – dragging myself along and forcing myself to do it. There’s no fun in that.

Can’t you imagine yourself as something other than a household drudge? You can be all earth mothery, Martha Stewarty, a home executive with ruthless efficiency, a paragon of Scandi cool or French chic, you can see yourself as flowing energy blessing the world around you as you move through your days. You can listen to whatever music you like, podcast interesting conversations from around the globe, learn Hindi or Hungarian as you go. No one is the boss of you. You can be whoever you choose – so choose a better option than drudge. Isn’t that more fun?