There’s a fridge magnet which says “Stupid women have tidy homes”. I used to think this was funny and I used to think it was true.

Having a clean house: boring! Having clean and ironed clothes: stupid! Taking care of the space you live in: what a waste of time!

My friends and I were dismissive of women who were good at taking care of their homes. The funny thing is, we didn’t know many actual people who were good at this, so we were mainly being dismissive of imaginary people. These imaginary women were 50’s style housewives who were nothing like us and who we had to avoid being like at all costs.

Looking back now I can see the few good housekeepers I knew in person weren’t boring, or stupid, and they were getting more done in the world than I was. They had more fun and they were a lot less stressed.

There was never a correlation between being good at managing a home and being stupid. However there was a clear correlation between being good at managing a home and being calmer, less flustered, and more present in the world.

I was the stupid one. Learning how to take care of your home has immediate tangible benefits for you and the people you love and share your life with. Mocking people who have mastered this is stupid. Mocking imaginary people who have mastered this is REALLY stupid. If you have a home, the smart thing to do is to learn to manage it well.